World War One Peaceful Speech by Woodrow Wilson
This essay was hamstrung by poor English
expression. It f eatured numerous errors of grammar,
spelling and poor sentence construction. Frequently
this lef t you unable to convey a clear grasp of
Woodrow’s speech, its signif icance and its context.
As a result the essay did not meet minimum literacy
There were a number of f actual errors and
inconsistencies. For instance in the introduction you
have given three dif f ering versions of when Wilson
delivered this speech – the speech was given in
1914, the speech was given upon American entry
into the war (1917), and the speech was given in the
wake of the war.
There were numerous descriptions of aspects of
the First World War (as noted above, these were
of ten not clearly articulated), but the
contextualisation of the speech needed to go
beyond this. More needed to be said on how the
speech was received, both in the US and by relevant
world leaders. Did the f ourteen points inf luence
Germany? Did the f ourteen points have an inf luence
on the Treaty of Versailles, or was Wilson’s position
Above all, I would stress the need f or you to put
some additional work into your English expression.
This will allow you to unleash your full potential.
Pages 22 and 23 of the unit learning guide of f er
some useful tips in this regard.
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